catch my breath
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Sunday, December 2, 2007, 6:15 AM
Oh yeah, those feelings came back. I read one of my girlfriend's entries, I could tell how cheerless,heartsick she was when the guy she loves left her. At that moment, i reminiscence how depressing, heartbroken i was when he left. I locked myself up in the room, skipped my meals which lead to severe weight-loss. I was not myself. I've turned into a messy person. Such a messy person. I wish I was dead, never to suffer any of these shits i was going through. Yes,thousands of encouragement came out from bestfriends' mouthes. But that can only make me feel better just for awhile. After a few mins/hours, I would turn back to the ugly side. Dont mention how much I cried, i think the tears would fill the whole room. I was just so ugly. I thought that person dump-ed me for i was not attractive enough for him or somewhat. Maybe it was my fault or his or ours but the thing was I felt sooo *urgh*, no words can describe the feelings how devastated i was. I was like a little sexist, and yeah from that moment I never believe in love. I couldnt still forget him. He was in my heart. Hell yeah, he was the first love. I told my bro's gf(who was got dumped by her first love too) how i felt. She was the one who could understand me truly. She did gone thru all the shits just like me. She stayed strong and finally she's with that gaybrother of mine. Muahahahaha. Not to mention countless times of fights they had to endure, they're going to celebrate their 2 years anniversary soon. I remembered asking her how she finally manage to handle the painful shits, she said I was too young for this, when I reach sixteen then i can start to be more mature and think correctly. I think i've talked alot. Like reallly allotttt. P.S, i'm over him.
and i think im 16 now, cos i'm much stronger than before.
Labels: Why guys think with their dicks instead of brain?